2023 // Challenges & Breakthroughs - 12/18/23

Family, 

I just came back from hosting Master Tree dietas in the Peruvian Andes and, wow, our ceremonies were incredible. We were nestled in a valley at 11,000 feet above sea level, where Gaia showed out with dazzling displays of rainbows and thunderstorms with enough force to rattle the foundations of our three floor lodge.

We discovered wild tobacco growing in a local cave used for offerings and cooked four batches of beautiful and potent medicine. I am deeply grateful for the brothers and sisters who showed up and trusted me to guide them through transformation with the plant masters.

Between taking care of my friends and students, I seized ample opportunity to sit, smoke my pipe and contemplate the year. I saw many moments where I could have shown up better and surfed the wave with more grace, and other moments where the pain and persistence paid off.

I ended the most challenging romantic relationship of my life this Spring. A male / female pair who both serve tobacco as shamanic medicine is quite the vibe. We each had this ability to bring out an over-critical tongue in the other, to the benefit of no one. Lesson: Diplomacy. Conflict is often best resolved through gentle speech.

This Summer, I held a wilderness container on private land fronting the Yuba River. It was a huge labor to pull off and only 3 men joined our ceremonies (which were incredible). After driving all the way from South Florida, I lost money on the offering. Lesson: Non-linearity. Breakthrough lurks around the next corner, even when it seems like you’ve gone backwards.

My family has also been going through it. Old skeletons came out to dance and hidden ancestral wounds were thrown open in broad daylight. Learning to be an anchor within family while relatives undergo messy healing processes is a teaching I’ve received this year. Lesson: Nobody is perfect. Love, forgive and witness the mystery work in all things.

The most powerful medicine for me in 2023 has been community. Connecting with friends, mentors, students and allies on the path has taken me to another level of peace in living a life of service. Lesson: Be seen. As frightening as it is to be witnessed in our messy reality, it is equally as liberating.

After multiple fasts totaling 33 days, my emotional life has stabilized in a way I’ve never experienced before and my physical vitality has taken on a new degree of potency. Considering 7 straight years of persisting in my goal to heal autoimmunity in my body, it’s a victory dance. Lesson: Don’t fucking give up.

But truly, the most significant breakthrough of my year has been simply becoming calibrated to the unknown. It’s pretty relieving to accept that failure, chaos and unforeseen consequences are… normal. Lesson: When you think you know, you probably don’t. Enjoy not knowing. And do the damn thing anyway.

8/12 spots are taken for the tobacco apprenticeship starting Feb 22nd. I have space for three more ladies and one more gentleman. Ride the waves with grace my friends, for this time is all we’ve got.

A'ho,

Jordan Mockingbird